*sigh*

I totally understand how people of "celebrant" status feel. Now not in any shape, form, or fashion am i considering myself to be a celebrity, but I do find myself being looked at by some, a tad differently than the "average" man. Possibly due to the fact I don't associate with just "average" people. Or largely due to the fact I don't carry myself as just an "ordinary" guy.

"I ain't no ordinary nigga, look around this ain't what ordinary gets ya, extraordinary figures, I'm an extra ordinary nigga" -Jay Z
http://www.zshare.net/audio/139306103a3f7425


Growing up I was a kid, who like most, enjoyed the attention of others, to an extent. I fucked off in school (not academically) and found enjoyment via. making the others laugh. From then on, that was me. Jonathan, a more than sporadic class clown. It worked for a while, actually, until college to be truthful. That's when I realized that although making others feel joyous due to my humorous side, that my future and those affected by it meant way more. Yet trying to shake that so late in the game is a difficult task to meet head on. CRAZY DIFFICULT!!

And its the same nowadays. Its like people see you in a certain light depending on what it is you do. They see you one night, and expect you to be that 24/7. That's not reality people. I too am human. I cant always be the one to make you laugh and smile. I cant be the one to just feel good all the time, no stress, no problems. To me that's just not reality. We all go through the ups and downs of life and I suppose its my turn now. Bad things happen to good dudes from time to time, it is what it is. Ive been stressing a lot lately, and the way I am, I fatigue it well. If I let certain things out, even those who go through the same things as I, would look at me as if i was buggin'!! So I'll refrain.

But people do remember, however you look @ someone, remember that theres life inside of them, beyond what you see. So if i come off on you some kind of way, charge it to my mind and not my heart, because shits real right now.

http://www.zshare.net/audio/13943481597d9378/