12.23.08

So........it's really the 23rd of December huh? CRAZY!!

I remember the days where I'd be bugging, because of the fact that it's 2 days before Christmas. Losing sleep, with the over sized, Nick Cannon Gucci bags under my eyes and all that! I wonder is it just me, or is it natural to lose certain urges and accompanying feelings as I sit here today at the age of 25. Actually, to be truthful, I kind of lost the super young Christmas feelings A LONG time ago, as I just wanted everyone else to be happy with their gifts and what not, just as I do now, when asked what I want, often opting out of gifts.

Now that my son is 3, I'm more into making his Christmas days as magical as I would've loved mine to be as a child. I mean don't get me wrong, my holidays were always cool, but you know, as a kid its always something you either felt you deserved, or just wish you would've received under the tree. So, I'm trying to make it where, theres nothing else he could realistically ask for ( at his age though, there will always be some Power Ranger or Transformer toy that I overlooked).

I just wish I could get those feelings of excitement, around this time of the year back. However, on Christmas morning when he and the rest of my fam are doing their thing, I'm sure I will be upped with joy a notch, just by everyone elses enjoyment. Maybe that's it. When I'm able, to give freely without restriction, to all I care for, then that glow inside of me will reappear. Just being able to bring a smile to someone I loves face always does the trick, no matter how large the gift/deed is.

I know that the reason for the season isn't all about gifts and all that, but it's a tad bit late to flip the script completely now. Although I will try and embark the biblical reasons/meanings on my son sporadically throughout the holiday season(s).

I don't know, only time will tell............enjoy the holidays......